Surviving Unslow Seasons

Gentle strategies for coping when your plate is full

This week I really appreciated Sophie’s insightful post at Finding Simple & Calm, about the challenge of trying to live slowly during a difficult and busy season of life. Sophie’s words resonated deeply with me because I have been there. This year I feel like I have finally emerged from a long period where my day-to-day felt very disconnected from the intentional lifestyle I aspire to.

In my late 20s I thought I had slow and simple living all figured out. We lived in a ramshackle old house in the country with a teeny tiny mortgage and we only had one car. We grew almost all our own veggies and I cooked everything from scratch, so we spent very little on groceries. Because our cost of living was so low, I didn’t need to have a day job and instead, I blogged, I did some bits and pieces of freelance writing and I ran a couple of tiny home businesses. I gardened, kept chickens, baked cakes and made jewellery. My life was blissfully simple and I (naively) thought I had mastered the art of slow living.

And then things changed. My partner and I had our son and for the first time, living out of town and only having one car felt limiting and complicated, because it was difficult to attend playgroups and social activities when my partner needed the car at work. All the hazards in our drafty old house were suddenly more apparent, now that we had a little one to worry about, and our finances were getting tighter. I was also becoming burnt out from working really hard at my home businesses for very little financial reward. We knew something had to give.

I decided the responsible choice was for me to return to a more traditional job. I started part time work but commuting to town for our jobs and for our son to attend kindergarten was a logistical nightmare with only one car, so we decided we needed to move into town. At this time the housing market was also exploding, so when I was offered a fulltime position I accepted it, in order to afford our next home. With us both then working full time and our son at school, life wasn’t at all manageable with only one car, so we had to buy a second one… And before I knew it, I felt like we’d fallen back into exactly the lifestyle we’d spent our 20s trying to escape!

At that time I was so disillusioned and sad. I felt like we’d really lost our way and I felt like a slow living failure. We’d had a taste of our simple living dream and I desperately wanted it back, but I had no idea how we’d ever get there again.

In hindsight though, now I can see that we hadn’t actually lost our way. Our values, our goals and our ideals never wavered, it was just that our lives shifted into a new chapter. Adding a child into the mix and dealing with a cost of living crisis is inevitably going to change things, but that didn’t mean we had given up on our pursuit for a simpler, slower lifestyle.

No matter your journey, there will likely be times in your life when your plate is more full than you would like it to be. Maybe it will be because you are parenting young children, caring for elderly parents or experiencing illness. Perhaps you’ll be working extra hours due to financial hardship or battling mental health struggles. Tough times are inevitable for all of us, but they do usually pass.

For us, things have generally calmed down now. In time we were able to buy a cozy little house, that is much better suited to our needs than our original home, and close to our jobs and school. Once we’d bought our home, I was able to cut back down to part time at work which has given our family more flexibility and freed up more space for other things that matter to us. We planted a new veggie garden, I began writing again and I have been taking a pottery class. Slowly but surely, life has resettled into a new kind of slow and simple.

The truth is, my life today is still more complicated and busy than it was in my late twenties. It will likely remain that way until our son is grown up and our mortgage is paid off, but I understand now that’s ok. It doesn’t make me a slow living failure. Simple and slow living just looks different at different ages and stages of life.

Throughout this journey, I have also learned how to better maintain my sense of calm and purpose, even during overwhelming times. Here are some of the gentle strategies I use to help me cope when my plate is fuller than I would like.

1. Prioritise and compromise
   When you don’t have any spare bandwidth, it is essential to identify what truly matters to you, what’s nonnegotiable, and what you can let go of. You may have to make some compromises and set aside some of your ideals, for a little while. I used to really enjoy making my own kombucha every week and in ideal world I would still be doing that, but in my current season of life I simply don’t have the time or capacity for it. This doesn’t mean I have give up on brewing kombucha or that I will never do it again. It just means now is not the time. One day, when I can let go of some of my current commitments, I know I will start brewing again.

2. Savour small moments for mindfulness
   Even amidst the chaos, we can carve out small moments for mindfulness. I will never be the kind of girl who can quieten her mind enough to meditate for an hour (or even 15 minutes!) but I can take my coffee outside and sit in the sunshine to sip it, rather than gulping it down in between answering emails. I don’t have time every day to take a long walk, but I can slow my pace and take a moment to appreciate the spring blossoms and sunshine while I’m walking from my car to my office. These micro moments help me to reconnect with myself and the world around me.

3. Set boundaries with kindness
   Those of us who are people pleasers can find it very hard not to overcommit to employers, friends, family and causes that are important to us, but setting boundaries is not about being unkind or selfish. It’s about protecting our time and energy and ensuring that we leave ourselves enough room to prioritise our own needs and responsibilities. We all need to get comfortable saying no sometimes. By recognising our limits and being honest (with ourselves and others) about our capacity, we create more space for what truly matters to us.

4. Keep your environment calm
   Spaces that are filled with clutter can really amplify stress and anxiety. The less stuff we have to take care of and manage, the less work we create for ourselves and the easier life becomes. Taking time to declutter not only makes our surroundings more serene, but it can also help to quieten the mental noise. You might be surprised by how therapeutic the process can be! As we sort through our belongings, we can reflect on what truly serves us and what we can let go of. Decluttering isn’t just about cleaning up. It’s about creating a peaceful mindset and a space that supports our well-being.

5. Embrace imperfection
   Despite what social media may tell us, no one lives perfectly intentionally all of the time. I can almost guarantee that influencer who only wears linen and purports the vitalness of daily yoga sometimes gives her children McDonalds or spends an hour doom scrolling on Tiktok when she promised herself she’d read a book. Life is messy, and that’s okay! Embracing imperfection means giving yourself grace. Living simply and slowly is not about achieving a pretty, Instagram-friendly version of perfection. Its about living a life that feels intentional and joyful for each of us, as individuals.

6. Schedule downtime
   I am a firm believer that downtime isn’t a luxury, it is a necessary part of staying well, maintaining balance and preventing burnout. When life gets busy, we need to make it a priority to carve out dedicated downtime in our calendars, just like we would for any other appointment. Whether it’s a cozy night in with a good book or a lovely weekend stroll, these moments of self-care are vital for recharging our minds and bodies. During the school term I try to block out one full day every weekend where we don’t leave the house for anything. As a family of introverted homebodies, that recharge day is essential for our wellbeing.

Simple and slow living is not one-size-fits-all; it evolves with us throughout our lives. By learning to embrace the unique chapter we are currently in (struggles and all) we can cultivate a lifestyle that resonates with our values, no matter where we are on our journey.

Remember, there is no special award for doing slow “right”. If you are going through a hard time right now, please just give yourself grace. You’re doing your best in your current circumstances and that is enough.

This too shall pass.

Katie xx